One of the biggest hurdles I faced as a newly-separated single parent was that I simply didn’t know where to begin.
I KNEW there was heaps of stuff that needed to happen.
But I didn’t know where to start and what to do first.
As I went through the journey of separation and divorce, I noted the steps that I had been through – and if there was an easier way that I found out about later – I noted that down too. Months later, when people began asking me to speak with their friends and family to share what I had learned, I turned my notes into a checklist.
I call it the ‘separation essentials’ checklist – because it covers the very basic and essential steps you need to do straight after you separate from your former partner.
The Separation Essentials Checklist gives a real starting point and it guides you step-by-step through a time where (if you’re like me) your brain probably isn’t working too clearly.
The checklist is all about simple things you can do one at a time, right now.
It’s a single page, A4 sized printable PDF and it’s available for free.
It’s about getting you ‘separate’ so that you can start to heal by:
- starting fresh with personal mail, email, phone and banking in your own name
- limiting the extent of future financial damage that your former partner may cause
- checking whether you are eligible for government and child support payments, and starting the application and assessment process to get the money you are entitled to paid to you ASAP
- getting you in touch with people who can support you and
- getting support in place for your children.
The best thing is that in the checklist, all of these steps are in the right order so you won’t waste time going backwards and forwards or in circles.
There’s nothing fancy about it, most of the steps won’t be too much of a surprise.
You may be able to tick many of them off already.
But what if there’s something important you haven’t done yet?
Something you don’t even know that you need to do?
My biggest recommendation is to NOT put these first steps off until later, when you’re feeling better.
This is especially important if you weren’t the one who instigated the break-up and your separation came as a huge surprise to you. Your former partner may have been planning their exit for some time and may have already been manipulating things behind the scenes.
The simple fact is that separation changes people. It doesn’t matter whether you have always thought your former partner was the most trustworthy person on the planet and they would never do anything that might impact on your children.
Regardless of what you think your former partner will do, or will not do, don’t stake your future financial independence on the assumption that they will continue to do what you would want them to do.
I now know so many women who made that assumption and woke up one morning, sadly, to find that they were wrong.
You don’t know who is advising your former partner in the background, you don’t know what they will do.
The good news is that even if you have already cleaned out, left with absolutely nothing, left without a home or simply left with your dreams shattered – the Separation Essentials Checklist is a great way to start picking up the pieces and rebuilding your life.
You can do it by yourself.
You can do it for free.
You can do it right now.
An important note about fairness:
The checklist and everything else on this website is ABOUT BEING FAIR, both to you and your former partner. Fairness is important. Take every opportunity to be fair to your former partner as you go through this process. There is nothing to be gained by being spiteful, manipulative or greedy.
Remember that your children are watching you very closely. No matter how tempting it may be, do not repay evil with evil, take the opportunity to rise above it. You cannot control how other people behave, but you have 100% control over your own actions.
As parents we are used to putting ourselves and our needs last. We prioritize our kids, we try to keep our partners happy. I’m here today to tell you that you are amazing. I know that you love your kids and I know that relationship separations are awful.
Things are going to get better.
As a single parent, it’s more important than ever that you begin looking after yourself again, and that you take care of the business of separation and divorce. You might not be able to see it right now, but you are absolutely worth it.
The checklist is totally free and I want you to have it.